New Story- I need help changing it!

So, I'm writing this storyand I like the first few paragraphs, but after that it just starts going downhill. I want to change it but can't think of anything to change it to. Here's what it is so far:

As I gazed through the trees, I quietly "Shhhh,"ed my young owl. I had picked him up a few days before, but he still wasn't used to my secret life.
I brushed a strand of my frizzy, golden hair from my face, remembering when I was forced to keep it help up in that tight bun, as if it where a prisoner stck in a cramped cell. Now, just like me, it was free. Free from rules, free from bounderies. Free from orders free from curfews. I didn't have to live the life of someone I wasn't. I could be anything I wanted out here.
My owl, I had named him Oaken, was hooting like crazy. I quickly saw that what he wanted was to dive into a family of mice scurrying over the leaves. I held him back.
"We eat no meat," I told him for the fifth time that day. "We eat berries, nuts, and bark. If you want to eat rodents then go travel without me." He looked at me pleadingly.
"Go ahead! Just don't come back." I walked away and, of course, Oaken followed. He would not leave me.


((Now I have to go to bed. I'll post the part I want to change tomorrow.))

Thats a good start.

I cant wait for more.

I like it!

But I don't really like the next part... here it is...

As you may have noticed, I had a problem with watching creatures die. That was one of the reasons why I ran away.
Yes, I ran away from home- if you could call that wrtched orphanage a home. had no life until now. I was stuck in that orphanage serving our "Soon-to-be-queen." The so called "queen" was the owner of the orphanage. She was nstead of Aspen, my real name, I was known as "Servent Number Eight." No one in the orphanage/"castle" was aloud to exit. I was furious when the "queen" made that rule. My first attempt at escapre was when I was five years old. I got caught, of course, but tried for years until one day, I made it out.
I sprinted past the orphanage, the bakery, and the castle. I sped through the gates of the I don't have a name for it yet Kingdom and deep into what most people called, "The Evil Wood." But, if you looked at it the right way, like me, you could see past the darkness and evil and witness the magical beauty of the forest. The berries that were as red as the sunset, the rivers that gleamed like a thousand diamonds, the colorful Autum leaves that looked like a speckled rainbow, the smooth, brown body of a young tree, the squeaks, rustles, and chirps of little creatures scuffling around- I loved it all.
I had set up a small shelter for myslef, but as soon as I heard my name being called- or my sevant name- I quickly and quietly took it apart and ran. After that, I had to stay on the move. I slept in trees or under bushes....



I didn't finish the rest because I wanted to change it. Do you think I should keep it like that or change it?

I don't know, I'm not a good writer.

But you're a good reader and so what would you think if you were just reading this book? Would you keep reading it? Or would you just put it down and write a letter to the author telling her to change it?

I think it's good.

So should I just continues with that plot or change it?

You should continue

Yeah you should

yep...

OK.

Are you posting more? You have me interested.

Well, I didn't plan on continuing this one... but if you want me to, and if I have time I will write and post more!

Yes keep it going!

Ok, when I have time I will post more